The Art of NOT Giving a F*ck: A Reminder You Are KILLING IT
Originally written on September 6, 2017
Today I was triggered. So I’m going to rant.
Over the past few years I have gone through my fair share of bullshit, and along the way have made some pretty bad decisions, and started some pretty bad relationships. When we make these decisions, it’s really hard at first to see that what we are doing is going to effect us in the long run. You and this girl connect right off the bat, become friends, do everything together, tell each other EVERYTHING, intimate parts of your life you don’t tell anyone, then before you know it you’re hating each other, tearing each other down making each other feel like complete shit. You meet this tall, cute guy, he’s funny, he loves the same things you do, you share similar qualities and views on life, talk all the time, go to each other for comfort, next thing you know one thing goes wrong and BOOM you’re complete strangers.
IT HAPPENS. AND IT SUCKS.
As we get older we learn that there are many people who come in and out of our lives, even if you don’t want them to. I’ve always been a very closed off type of person. If you meet me, you’d think that I was an extrovert. I’m loud and crazy and love to have fun, but when it comes to getting me to open up I’m as locked up as they come. So I am very selective with who I share myself with. So when I do open up, I open all the way up. Growing up, I always needed validation when making decisions, or feeling a certain way about certain things. I found that I was looking for friendships, and relationships from people who were going to validate the way that I felt or validate the things that I did. I would look to others for their opinions, and always disregard mine. I’m now 22, almost 23 and I’m JUST learning now that being that way is absolutely horrible. I am just learning now that by looking for people who are going to validate me isn’t going to make me feel better, in fact, its going to make me feel worse, because when I’m left to face a decision alone I have NO idea what to do. I found myself opening up to people who took advantage of that, and were very manipulative.
Working out has really helped change that mentality I’ve had, and has helped me steer away from those unhealthy people I surrounded myself with. Going to the gym is a place for me to go and clear my mind, and spend quality time with just myself, and no one else. It has helped the way I think and feel about certain things. I have learned to be a lot more confident in myself, and the decisions that I make…
But the unfortunate truth is that even when you’re doin’ you, there still are going to be those people who are unhappy with the way that you are and attack you for things they have no business attacking you about. “You’ve changed,” “you’re too cocky,” “you’re no fun,” “you’re a bitch,” “you’re a whore,” “you only care about yourself,” “you’re selfish,” “you’re obsessed with yourself.”
AND. *clap* IT. *clap* HURTS. *clap*
No one likes hearing negative things about themselves and it hurts even more if its coming from those who claim to have your best interest. If this was years ago, this would EAT. ME. ALIVE. But as I’ve gotten older and changed the way I felt about myself I’ve learned that the people who say that about you, are the ones with the problem, NOT. YOU, and the truth is you are NEVER going to make everyone happy, no matter what you do someone is ALWAYS going to not like you, someone is always going to be jealous of the path you are taking, someone is always going to find ways to put you down every chance they get. And THESE are the people who put you down to make themselves feel better because THEY are insecure and unhappy with some aspect of THEIR own lives. It took me forever to realize that these type of people DO exist, and obsessing over them will do no good. You just need to not give a f*ck.
Does this make me a bad person? NOPE. Does this mean I don’t care? NOPE. It means that I’m comfortable enough with myself to know that NOTHING that they say about me is true, because I KNOW its not true, I know myself enough to know that they are trying to let their words affect me, and guess what, they’re not.
Even though it may be hard the only thing you can do is not give a f*ck and mooooove on. Being a girl is literally a full time job. Growing up we get so much shit that we should be pretty, be skinny, wear make up all the time, do our hair, buy fancy clothes, act lady like, behave a certain way, not do certain things, not eat too much, not drink too much, be classy, not flirt with too many boys, be sexy, but not too sexy, show off our body, but not show too much,…you get the point. Being fed these things at a young age ENCOURAGE us to give a f*ck about what people think about us and the truth is those standards last with us throughout our lives and then we’re thrown out to the world like WTF?!??!!? Its HARD figuring out who the f*ck you are and what you want to do, and nearly IMPOSSIBLE fitting every single one of those girl standards. I have a little step sister and every chance I get when I see her I like to remind her that she is the ISHHHH. (Her favorite song) I like to let her know that no matter what people say, or what people think about you, it doesn’t matter. Its how you feel about yourself that truly matters and if you love yourself you’re going to find people to surround yourself with who love you just as much as you love you. And they WONT think your cocky, they WONT call you names, they’ll love you for you and think you’re the baddest thing known to man. Even IF you’re over weight, even IF you’re too skinny, even IF you show off your body too much, even IF you flirt with too many boys even IF you think you’re the shit, because guess what….
YOU ARE. YOU ARE DOPE. YOU ARE BAD ASS, AND YOU ARE KILLIN’ IT. So remember that, and don’t let the little shit get you down. I’m saying this and sharing in hopes that someone needed to hear it, because I didn’t have someone to tell me this, so if you don’t either, I want to be that for you, I want you to know these things so you can be happier and love yourself. Self-love is hard, and with all the negativity from people we’re surrounded by doesn’t make it any easier.
So keep doing you because you’re killin’ it.
